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Find out the right pin to switch off the alarm.
I need not tell u the rest what happens.
Parvinder and Habib are beggars in UK. They beg in different areas of London.
Habib begs just as long as Parvinder but only collects £2 to £3 every day.
Parvinder brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes,
lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.
Habib says to Parvinder ‘I work just as long and hard as you do but
how do you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?’
Parvinder says, ‘Look at your sign, what does it say’?
Habib’s sign reads ‘I have no work. I have a wife and 6 kids to support’.
Parvinder says ‘No wonder you only get £2- £3
Habib says… ‘So what does your sign say’?
Parvinder shows his sign….
It reads, ‘I only need another £100 to move back to Pakistan ‘.
INFOSYSism
You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, & send them one at a time to theUS for milking.
WIPROism
GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.
DELLism
Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both & sell it as Cow’s milk.
IBMism
You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to innocent small businessmen.
MICROSOFTism
You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows.
INTELism
Microsoft makes horse shoes. You nail them to your cows & wonder why they don’t run fast.
SUNism
You have a bull. It doesn’t give milk. You hate Microsoft.
ORACLEism
You have a cow. You don’t know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows.
SAPism
You don’t have a cow. You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking consultants.
APPLEism
You have a cow. You sell iMilk.
SONYism
You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world’s thinnest milk.
CITIBANKism
Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press 1. If you have a bull, press 2…stay on line if you’d like our customer care to milk it for you.
HPism
You don’t know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking solutions through authorised resellers only.
GEism
You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds out, that’s his imagination at work.
ELIANCEism
You don’t yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.
TATAism
You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.
Why do students fail in exams…?
It’s not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY
has 365′ days.ur birthday. How can you study on your B’day??
Balance = 0 “How can a student pass?
Typical academic year for a student
1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.
2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE.. Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left
126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly &
swallowing)-means 30days. Days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days Days left
81.
7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days. Balance 6
days.
9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining days=3.
10. Movies and functions- at least 2 days. 1 day left.
11. That 1 day is
Dear wife:
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever.
I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for
it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was
the last straw.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had
cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of
your soaps.
You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want anything that
connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever
the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man
is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining
& griping Too bad that doesn’t work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that
came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised
me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’ t
comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99
price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my
sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So
when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us
2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything
happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said
that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.
I hope that’s not a problem. 
Why mom is the best??
